If you’ve ever half-assed anything in your life, then this episode has something for you. From retarded college students who can’t commit suicide correctly to crappy cafeterias, this show honors everything wrong with this country. As if that’s not enough, we also have tons of news stories to cover, a new segment where Adam attempts to contribute something - anything - to the show, and a bad podcast that gives a whole new meaning to the word “aroma”. Because it stinks. You’ll see. It’s a coffee reference. Because the bad podcast is about coffee. Or it’s supposed to be. You’ll see.

SHOW INGREDIENTS

0:00:00 - 0:00:45 - Intro by Bob Saget
0:00:45 - 0:01:34 - NLO Episode 61*
0:01:34 - 0:02:14 - Lasers!
0:02:14 - 0:03:00 - New Work Restaurant - It is shit
0:03:00 - 0:04:05 - The Breakfast Sandwiches - Sucky score
0:04:05 - 0:05:43 - All kinds of weird vegetarian stuff
0:05:43 - 0:06:15 - Lunch - Vegetarian Lasagna that wasn’t lasagna
0:06:15 - 0:07:15 - Retarded Sporks
0:07:15 - 0:08:32 - Smoothies? All with papaya juice? And small?
0:08:32 - 0:09:14 - Gillette has done it again
0:09:14 - 0:09:45 - Mach 3 Turbo or Power - Adam likes the vibrating
0:09:45 - 0:10:58 - Internet Race: What is the Power and Turbo?
0:10:58 - 0:11:32 - “Then there’s the M3 Power Nitro”
0:11:32 - 0:12:25 - The Mach 3 is shit, get the Fusion
0:12:25 - 0:13:25 - The future of razors - The Gillette Robot
0:13:25 - 0:14:05 - The Lacy Peterson Edition
0:14:05 - 0:14:20 - RazorTradeUp.com
0:14:20 - 0:14:38 - “My milk shake…”
0:14:38 - 0:15:15 - Patrick’s Story Hour - Roommate Ryan (and Adam is wearing a Pac Man Shirt)
0:15:15 - 0:16:30 - The back story - Dorm set up and description of Ryan
0:16:30 - 0:17:15 - Zits, teeth like donkeys, smoked, and his room reeked
0:17:15 - 0:17:30 - Then there was Brent, he was just a drunk redneck
0:17:30 - 0:18:11 - It wasn’t as bad as Eric who had black people who just burnt shit
0:18:11 - 0:19:08 - Then there was John, a 40 year old roommate in the dorms
0:19:08 - 0:19:53 - What lead up to Ryan trying to kill himself
0:19:53 - 0:21:06 - When Ryan had sex
0:21:06 - 0:22:05 - So as a good roommate, I went and got everybody
0:22:05 - 0:22:49 - The girl runs out in her panties and t-shirt
0:22:49 - 0:23:22 - Ryan crawled out his window, and talk about the fat chick
0:23:22 - 0:24:50 - The tiffyUSF story
0:24:50 - 0:26:09 - Ryan is all ready to go “with tiffy”
0:26:09 - 0:26:24 - She was a soccer player, 19, with no pubic hair
0:26:24 - 0:27:01 - Other random pranks like shaving cream under the door
0:27:01 - 0:28:39 - Then one day the laughter stopped - Ryan was just a fuck up
0:28:39 - 0:29:16 - Decides he doesn’t want to die
0:29:16 - 0:30:01 - “You can’t even fucking kill yourself right”
0:30:01 - 0:30:10 - NLO News
0:30:10 - 0:31:20 - Man brings his girlfriend disappointing gifts in jail
0:31:20 - 0:32:58 - Cakes disguised as burgers help men ashamed of sweets
0:32:58 - 0:33:19 - Firefighters with rifles shooting chickens
0:33:19 - 0:34:54 - Kanye West should be in the Bible
0:34:54 - 0:35:35 - Vitamin enriched beer
0:35:35 - 0:37:56 - Vagina Tightening
0:37:56 - 0:39:00 - Bad Podcast Of The Week: House Blend Cafe
0:39:00 - 0:39:40 - Recording over the phone, and it is just an ad
0:39:40 - 0:41:13 - A customer who hasn’t had any of the coffee
0:41:13 - 0:44:10 - Another guest who says you need several forks for the desserts
0:44:10 - 0:46:52 - Another guest, who can’t drink coffee
0:46:52 - 0:47:20 - “Pound?”
0:47:20 - 0:48:03 - It is an ad, you lie in it, and that is your wife and gay brother
0:48:03 - 0:49:15 - New Segment: Ask A Married Guy
0:49:15 - 0:50:03 - Does sex end after marriage? Yes, pretty much
0:50:03 - 0:50:18 - Sex while pregnant; hot or not? Not much of a difference
0:50:18 - 0:50:45 - Best way to hide porn? Windows system folders
0:50:45 - 0:51:21 - Send in your questions, even if they are crazy
0:51:21 - 0:51:46 - Voicemails are more entertaining and easier than emails; Voicemail segment
0:51:46 - 0:52:22 - What ate that pilot in Lost?
0:52:22 - 0:52:45 - Nick, I want to suck your cock, psyche!
0:52:45 - 0:53:08 - Nick is a little bitch
0:53:08 - 0:53:59 - Nick has to be a man to get the pussy
0:53:59 - 0:54:30 - NLO Idol submission
0:54:30 - 0:55:01 - Congratulations on no racial slurs in Episode 58 and fuck Jews
0:55:01 - 0:55:30 - Who won the Super Bowl: Steelers or Seahawks?
0:55:30 - 0:56:55 - This is the official “Lost the Game Hotline” and explanation of the Game
0:56:55 - 0:59:43 - Outro - 61* is in the can; titty twister and moose truce
0:59:43 - 1:00:35 - Outtakes - The way you said “black person” and Adam is bitch slapped on the phone

Nobody Likes Onions 61: Phoning It In
Hosts: Patrick and Hollywood Adam
Date: 2-20-2006 Live: No
Length: 1:00:35 Bit Rate: 96kbps
Size: 41.7 MB Stereo: Yes

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