It's the first live show in a long time, if you don't count last week when we were drunk and just turned on the mics for giggles. And we don't count that - let's make that clear right now. Cowhead joins us in the studio with Moose, and we settle in for over two hours of NLO live show fun. We talk about cancer, girls, poker, anal sex, music, comedy, kids, and so much more. We take lots of calls and have lots of fun. We're off to Vegas - see you guys next week!

SHOW INGREDIENTS

0:00:00 – 0:01:38 – Intro Song (Nobody Likes Onions Up In Your Hizzy Hizzy)
0:01:38 – 0:02:07 – Live with Dagre, Cowhead, Moose and JB (who came for a hat)
0:02:07 – 0:02:33 – The Wayans brothers and Bruce Fine
0:02:33 – 0:03:07 – Rocky start to the show because JB unplugged shit
0:03:07 – 0:03:34 – Catching up with Cowhead
0:03:34 – 0:04:44 – Caller: Regarding the ‘Comedy Tonight’ song
0:04:44 – 0:05:01 – Fat people raised the temperature in the room from 66° to 82°
0:05:01 – 0:07:31 – Cowhead has never met JB, but has met his ex-wife; She needed a lot of cock
0:07:31 – 0:08:48 – JB would have tried anything with her, like butt fucking her with a watermelon
0:08:48 – 0:10:12 – Moose lacks enthusiasm
0:10:12 – 0:11:38 – Plug for Cowhead; cowheadshow.com; things about his website
0:11:38 – 0:14:42 – Caller: The out of breath caller, Mac, didn’t like ‘The Departed’, movie talk ensues
0:14:42 – 0:15:16 – ‘Little Man’ jokes
0:15:16 – 0:16:39 – Caller: English caller has info about DebbieWins
0:16:39 – 0:18:26 – Rehash of DebbieWins story
0:18:26 – 0:19:25 – NLO fans follow the hosts when the play on Full Tilt
0:19:25 – 0:19:57 – Cowboy accuses JB of stealing jokes off the internet
0:19:57 – 0:20:22 – Patrick is intimidated by Cowhead and JB’s deep voices
0:20:22 – 0:21:24 – Banter related to comedy gigs, Melbourne, Marco Island, and Gary Menke
0:21:24 – 0:23:19 – Artie Fletcher got caught blowing a guy in the improv… allegedly
0:23:19 – 0:24:34 – Patrick’s experience at My Big Fat Greek Restaurant; “Shut the fuck up, cunts!”
0:24:34 – 0:25:02 – Fuck Artie Fletcher, in his ass, especially if you’re a cook
0:25:02 – 0:32:59 – JB’s experience at the Melbourne poker room with a horrible dealer
0:32:59 – 0:34:00 – Patrick, or Adam, or Dagre looks different; and listener number update
0:34:00 – 0:37:06 – Break time soon; people coming up on the show, some banter, and music
0:37:06 – 0:37:55 – Back from break; go vote for NLO to beat Pottercast on Podcast Alley
0:37:55 – 0:38:19 – Banter about Patrick’s bathroom
0:38:19 – 0:39:47 – Caller: Dagre’s ex-girlfriend, who apparently had cervical cancer
0:39:47 – 0:41:46 – The craziest sexual thing they did; and more about her
0:41:46 – 0:43:02 – She danced for the Houston Rockets; talk about Yao Ming’s cock
0:43:02 – 0:43:49 – She likes facials, and is picky about the porn she watches
0:43:49 – 0:46:26 – Talking about anal sex
0:46:26 – 0:48:55 – Tony calls in – He is going to be in the Great Canadian Laugh Off
0:48:55 – 0:50:29 – Chewy has a tapeworm, then throws up the medicine
0:50:29 – 0:52:07 – Patrick takes a huge shit, sticks his head in the toilet checking for tapeworms
0:52:07 – 0:52:26 – Cowhead’s phone is ringing; Sidekick 3, piece of shit like the other 2
0:52:26 – 0:54:07 – Tapeworm and shit talk
0:54:07 – 0:54:45 – If you have kunt cancer, does glitter come out during your period?
0:54:45 – 0:55:43 – Caller: Wants to know Dagre’s real name; Dagre is black; Check out Kanovu
0:55:43 – 0:56:50 – Cowhead is going to Dublin, Ireland for a show without Moose
0:56:50 – 0:57:30 – Caller: Asks about Robbie Trencheny; bits to come in the future
0:57:30 – 0:58:57 – Kill yourself rehash; racial angle with Michael Richards
0:58:57 – 0:59:19 – Tony doesn’t come on anymore because the show is too racial
0:59:19 – 1:00:09 – “If you’re gonna do it anyway, put us in the note”; “I don't see how can I get fired from here”
1:00:09 – 1:01:40 – Cowhead’s key to standup comedy is alcohol; talks about comedy shows
1:01:40 – 1:04:00 – Patrick had to follow a horrible improv group / At least the crowd liked him
1:04:00 – 1:05:18 – Dagre has had at least 6 beers / “Beer is Good” Song / Please call in
1:05:18 – 1:06:11 – Patrick and Dagre are going to Vegas tomorrow / Bank Roll? / Black Hooker?
1:06:11 – 1:09:53 – Caller: Australian struggles to talk about David Caruso lines / Obligatory Australia questions
1:09:53 – 1:11:58 – Caller: Heroin Bob / NLO makes him happier / There’s nothing to do in Wyoming
1:11:58 – 1:13:46 – Steaks in Vegas / Dagre will buy Patrick dinner / Cowhead talks about Credit Card Roulette
1:13:46 – 1:15:27 – Bob serves steak at a golf course / Best steak / Sizzling fajitas
1:15:27 – 1:17:18 – Caller: Patrick has yet to try cheesy tots / Burger King has horrible service / JB says they were ok
1:17:18 – 1:18:52 – Caller: Fails / Stalling waiting for Bob Kelly / Phone tech is cheap / Caller: Ch.man talks about Cracker Barrel
1:18:52 – 1:21:22 – Bob Kelly has a low quality podcast / Bob roulette game / Back to the call
1:21:22 – 1:24:04 – Caller: Nothing / Cowhead wants girl callers / Caller: Claymore / Chip chip talk / Anna Nicole joke
1:24:04 – 1:26:32 – Caller: Carly from Ohio / She looks like the kid from ‘The Grudge’ / Her boyfriend is jealous
1:26:32 – 1:30:26 – Anal sex talk / The boyfriend used to be a fan, then got jealous / She isn’t as hot as they thought
1:30:26 – 1:34:29 – Jizz talk / Its like silly putty / Let it dry on your own chest / Shave NLO into her pubes
1:34:29 – 1:38:26 – Her sister molested her / The sister is hot / Carly is pale and flat chested / Patrick has a chance
1:38:26 – 1:40:29 – Talking about JB’s ex-wife / They bash her, she compliments JB / A caller fails
1:40:29 – 1:41:15 – Break / No Bob Kelly / Song: There Is A Light That Never Goes Out - Anberlin
1:41:15 – 1:58:48 – Interview: Stephen Christian from Anberlin
1:58:48 – 2:00:20 – Stephen calls Patrick on his cell / Patrick gets ribbed a little for being gay for Stephen
2:00:20 – 2:06:16 – Caller: Carly’s boyfriend / Patrick is going to get Carly / Cowhead rates her a 4
2:06:16 – 2:08:27 – Caller: Anya again / Kicking her to the curb / Cancer jokes
2:08:27 – 2:10:34 – Caller: Olli from Australia / Trip to Vegas talk / Fat people on airplanes
2:10:34 – 2:11:01 – Caller: Doogie impersonating Carly
2:11:01 – 2:14:07 – Close out / cowheadshow.com / Moose has nothing / Anberlin’s new album Cities / Robert Kelly will be at the Tampa Improv / Voicemail, Forums, SABC, Poker & Live Shows planned / Vegas banter
2:14:07 – 2:17:58 – Song: Las Vegas is Waiting – Kevin Bowe

Quotes:

1:27:18 - Cowhead - "I just want you to be uncomfortable, I don't want you to actually bleed."
1:30:22 - Cowhead - "So long, bitch."
1:34:57 - Patrick - "I'd masturbate to your court hearing."
1:38:26 - Johnny B - "Alright, hang up and get a girl on here that will fuck us."
- Cowhead - "We can call your ex-wife."
1:47:46 - Cowhead - "Wow, why don't you just blow him."
- Patrick "I do want to blow him."
1:48:50 - Stephen Christian - "Oh, I know Dick!"
1:52:24 - Johnny B (about his ex-wife) - "She has a sign in sheet on her vagina."
1:59:56 - Patrick - "You can call me half a fag or whatever..."
- Cowhead - "No, you're a whole fag."
2:00:47 - Cowhead - "Is this the wigger with the plaid hat?"


Nobody Likes Onions 163: Vegas and Vagina
Hosts: Patrick, Dagre, Johnny B, special guest Cowhead
Date: 3-7-2007 Live: Yes
Length: 2:17:58 Bit Rate: 96kbps
Size: 94.9 MB Stereo: Yes

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