Happy Chanukwah. Channakuhah. Channahanneehu? Chewbaccah. Anyway, happy Jewish days. Get out the menorah and dust off the bottles of Manischewitz. Tonight we’re joined by twice the Tom Joolery. We have Chef and Jeff, both Jews. Both Jews that don’t really know much about anything Jewish. It’s like they’re just phoning it in. What would your ancestors think, guys? Show a little enjewsiasm for your religion. It’s time to jewnite and work together. Throw some Kosher music on the ol’ jewkbox. It’s December, and we haven’t had this much fun since Jewn.

SHOW INGREDIENTS

Intro: I would like to thank Dr. Soc, for teaching me about HIV and the body.
Outro Message: After you get the pancake shit on your face, we have to make sure you go all out, and put it on-

Cowbells:
Chef- 1
Patrick - 1
Jeff the Jew - 1

• Jeff the Jew
• Hanukkah
• Poker talk
• Bit Idea of the Week - "Flew off the Window" from Mike in Montreal
• Carabas Italian Grill
• SABC - "The IHOP Video" and "I'm Mr. Pancakes!"
• Nobody Likes Onions Music CD
• News Story - Dead lady in her house for 2 years
• Snagglepuss impressions
• Jeff the Jew gets Mrs. Johnny B mad at Johnny B
• Christmas decorations
• Hanukkah
• Judaism as a race and a religion
• Clip Fight
• Christmas in Buloxi
• More boring poker talk
• Silent Night
• Mish-Mashhhhhhhhhhhhh
• Call - Chewing Corn Nuts instead of Gum
• Dirtyvibe's Call - 2girls1cup Pizza challenge
• Call - Complaint about gum chewing
• Al's bar
• Cancer

Quotes:
Patrick - "Who told you you were funny?"
Jeff - "No one ever told me I was funny."
Patrick - "Wonder why." 5:20

Patrick (Mockingly) - "Ever since Adam left, the burps have changed!" 8:40

Patrick - "It's awesome to have a name Chip Reese. It's two of my favorite things, chocolate chips and Reese's Pieces." 13:37

Chef - "How much pressure is in this blow up doll?"
Patrick - "Depends on how tight you want her." 25:20

Patrick and Johnny singing Ice Ice Baby. 35:15

Jeff - "We all look forward to dead black people." 39:05

Patrick - "What do you mean she was dead? It's not like she was at the top of the stairs in a dress." 44:50

Clip fight. 50:34

Chef - "First of all, Chewie is black, so he doesn't get any presents." 52:07

Patrick and Johnny hum Silent Night - 52:43

Patrick - "Midnight mass is how they're going to describe me wobbling out of the fucking buffet." 57:15

Other Notes:
The title, 2LiveJews, was never actually mentioned in the show. This was Jeff the Jew's first show.

Jeff, Patrick and Chef will be going to Buloxi for Christmas as of this show. In Episode 259: Kwanzaa Sex, Patrick and Chef decided they'll be going to Vegas instead. No word on if Jeff is going.

The "I'm Mr. Pancakes" video would have been made if 20 people signed up for the SABC in the week following the show. No word on how many people actually signed up. The video would be Johnny putting whip cream on his face, a cherry on his nose, pancakes on his cheeks, and then he would go around to all of the tables, saying "I'm Mr. Pancakes". He would change from British to Chinese in the middle, and then turn into the Jimmy Dean guy. He'll sit over the top of all the booths. He'd also put whip cream on people's food. All of this would continue as he wore his NLO jersey, until he got kicked out.

The NLO CD would include songs from the show.

Nobody Likes Onions 258: 2LiveJews
Hosts: Patrick, Johnny B, Chef, Jeff the Jew
Length: 1:13:10 Bit Rate: 96kbps
Size: 50.4 MB Stereo: Yes

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