Patrick receives a gift from a fan in the form of a revolutionary new technology that helps you sleep cooler than ever. Will it work? Is it as ridiculous as it’s name? Basically it’s a bag of water. Who wants to sleep on a bag of water? People with waterbeds, I suppose. Regardless, this thing claims to be an awesome pillow, but we’ve got a hunch it’s a sham! Skidoo!

SHOW INGREDIENTS

Intro: You take two cups funny and one cup of blow and mix them together to get NLO..... Faggot.
Outro Message: There was this one company that used to do that shit all the time, bu-

Cowbells
Roy asks for one at 13:50, but does not get one. He does get one at 51:21.

• The Chillow
• Roy's Fat Wife
• Tom Foss and Kevin Brennan
• Patrick's Comedy
• Email - Oblivious wife (See Episode 257: Edible Headables)
• Mrs. Aho the teaching assistant
• Cougars
• News - Vodka Chugger
• Sneaking stuff onto planes
• Steroids (very briefly)

Patrick - The Chillow dissipates the heat from your noggin.
Roy - And tell them how it does this
Patrick - Hydrogen and Oxygen... Space age gasses. 4:00

Roy - How long did the meeting last when they came up with the name? ... Alright, somebody think! It's a PILLOW, that CHILLS!
Patrick - Johnson, what is it? *Other Voice* Well we could call it a Chillow.
Roy -... It's a hot melon! No, that doesn't work.
Patrick - Let's call it a sink! .... A Keyboard? .... You're fired. 5:07

Patrick - A little spill is OK. Well thanks dad.

Roy - I would go ahead and pay the extra 50 bucks on having the geek squad
Patrick - I would go ahead and spend the extra 15 seconds to flip your pillow over. 9:30

Patrick - Even though the Chillow feels cooler than the temperature of the room, it will warm to ambient surrounding temperatures, so do not expect it to be cold in a hot room. AKA your Chillow is not magic. 12:04

Roy - This is not to be confused with the similar device known as the Pillowsicle. 14:18

Patrick - Punctures. How sharp is your face? 15:13

Patrick - Any child who could not lift the combined weight of the Chillow and a pillow off of his or her face could become trapped under the Chillow, and should not be using this product.
Roy - *Yelling* SHUT UP! 16:48

Patrick - Please determine that the child can move the product easily and [it] doesn't make them feel too cool. *Parent Voice* How do you feel son? *Kid Voice* Too cool. *Laughing* Dad 17:54

Patrick - Your Chillow can come to life in the middle of the night and hop on these things. 23:05

Roy - She said you're never invited to a fake barbecue ever again. 30:17

Patrick - That fake laugh. *Fake Laughs*
Roy - Wait a minute, that's fake?
Patrick - Yes.
Roy - *Disappointed* Oh. 35:00

Roy - *Childish like Patrick* It's my radio show, I'll take the microphones and go home. 38:53

Roy - Not yet, stay on target, stay on target. 41:04

Patrick (Referring to Miranda Hobbes) - I would rather fuck Skeletor with cancer. 44:36

Other Notes:
If you want to read the instructions for the Chillow or any of the other products by SoothSoft, go to this page.
If you would like your own Chillow, don't buy it on SoothSoft for the $40 price tag, it's only $20 here.
The Chillow was sent in by Linux on the forums.
This is one of the more interesting episodes, because several jokes (how long did the naming meeting last, other names, it's just a water bag) evolve as the show goes on, showing the joke making process.
Patrick called Mary Katherine fat 4 times during the call.

Nobody Likes Onions 260: Chillow
Hosts: Patrick, Roy Johnson
Length: 0:54:49 Bit Rate: 96kbps
Size: 37.9 MB Stereo: Yes


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