This was one of the shortest running segments in the show's history and basically consisted of Patrick bashing a certain country on the top 5 reasons it sucks. Its intro and outro was simple loud headbanging music and some guy screaming "USA". The aforementioned intro lasted about 3 seconds and according to Adam it was "piercing to the ears". Victims of this bashing-only segment were Britain (Episode 56) and France (Episode 72).

Five Reasons why Britain Sucks
5. Their micromachine-like cars, steering wheels on the opposite side and narrow streets
4. British TV. "Everything you do is stupid...everything...seriously everything"
3. The way british people talk
2. Their teeth ("Dentist, what's that? I'll keep walking")
1. Harry Potter

Five Reasons why France Sucks ("Socre Bleu")
5. Smelly french people
4. French food is not even french (ie french toast / french fries)
3. The way french people talk
2. Their clothing
1. They're a bunch of pussies