For the sake of definition, let an episode be an mp3 that went out on the feed. Thus, the Marathon Show is not to be included as a whole and empty shows like Episode 255 are not elligible.

Top 10 Longest Episodes

1. Episode 138: Kids These Days - 3:16:45
2. Episode 095: Let's All Get Along - 2:42:49
3. Episode 084: Stood-Up Stand-Ups - 2:34:20
4. Episode 225: All Of It? - 2:31:42
5. Episode 110: Tipping Is Encouraged - 2:30:51
6. Episode 079: Good Night & Good Luck - 2:29:59
7. Episode 179: Jackrabbit For Your Pocketbook - 2:25:22
8. Episode 089: Dirty Deeds - 2:21:46
9. Episode 163: Vegas and Vagina - 2:17:58
10. Episode 111: FTW! WTF? - 2:17:50

Top 10 Shortest Episodes (With Patrick)

1. Episode 140: Strep Poker - 0:11:14
2. Episode 269: Vacuuming Is Fun Again - 0:16:06
3. Episode 137: Goodbye to Hollywood - 0:18:35
4. Episode 005: Big Cameron - 0:28:20
5. Episode 195: I Heart Apple - 0:34:22
6. Episode 128: MMPFP - 0:35:17
7. Episode 001: A New Hope - 0:35:14
8. Episode 012: Patrick Is Grumpy - 0:36:02
9. Episode 014: Love & Waffles - 0:36:04
10. Episode 024: Analyze This - 0:38:23

Longest/Shortest Shows Without Patrick

1. Episode 047: Tech, No? - 0:16:49
   
2. Episode 046: Awkward - 0:13:01
   
3. Episode 048: To The Batmobile - 0:10:42
   

Top 5 Longest Non-Live Episodes

1. Episode 225: All Of It? - 2:31:42
2. Episode 113: Expos, eh? -2:13:38
3. 
   
4. 
   
5. 
   

Top 5 Shortest Live Shows

1. 
   
2. 
   
3. 
   
4. 
   
5.