At the core of NLO are several regular show segments. Since the start of the live shows these have been used less often due to the more spontaneous nature of the show.

Interviews

Nobody Likes Onions incorporates interviews with people in the media into its repertoire of entertainment. However, the nature of the interview may vary. The interview may be serious, but laid back, with an interesting topic. The interview may also appear to be serious to the person being interviewed, but instead they are being set up.

Is It Gay?

First introduced in Episode 213: Kanye Wet, the "Is It Gay?" segment started when Patrick told the listeners that he put a dildo in his mouth (just to wet it). This sparked an influx of emails and voicemails with people asking Patrick's opinion on whether or not a certain behavior or situation--like enjoying watching females with penises having sex--is gay. After the question is aired, the hosts then break down the situation and answer the listener's question.

Scruples

One of the longest running segments on the show, Scruples is a game about one's moral compass. Fans write in, describing a situation with a particular moral dilemma, and the hosts discuss how they would handle the tricky decision involved. Oftentimes, though, miss the point and submit inane questions ("You take a shit in a stall and notice there isn't any toilet paper...") or riddles.

Bad Podcast of the Week

It's all in the name. Each week Patrick would select a single podcast from the thousands which stood out as a pinnacle of hate inspiring bullshit, and conduct a thorough review of each one on the show along with Adam. These reviews include sections of the named podcast, and Patrick and Adam's unique commentary, and often ended up with Patrick yelling various expletives.

So far, only a few BPOW candidates have retaliated, and in each case much hilarity ensued. The most famous of these in the inner NLO circle is most likely Robbie Trencheny, and his podcast 'Geek Talk Live', in which Robbie ended up physically attacking Patrick (albeit as a punch impressive only for a 6month old) at the 2005 podcast expo in California.

To the dismay of some, the BPOW has been laid aside recently in favor of more interactive content with the listeners, but similar topics have been created, like the bashing of certain television broadcasts.

Secret Segment

The secret segment was something that happened randomly, usually initiated by Patrick, where something new and random would be done. Sometimes it was a random song, or maybe it was forcing Adam to eat something. Whatever the case, it came suddenly, ended just as fast, and was usually one of the most entertaining portions of the show.

Saint Patrick

Originally introduced on the 2006 St. Patrick Day live show, Saint Patrick was a segment in which Patrick would ring up people whom he felt he had 'treated unfairly' in the past and 'apologize' to them. Or at least, that was the idea.

When put in practice Patrick ended up yelling 'Mugglecast fucking sucks!' and various Harry Potter related insults down the Mugglecast voicemail line, and complaining that his 'Basil Berry Blender' from House Blend Café caused him to be ill and getting the poor employee on the end of the line to explain why Basil was included in the 'Basil Berry Blender'.

Adam got the idea for the segment after a heated dicussion about whether or not Patrick is a saint.

Retired Segments

Ask a Married Guy

Patrick would fire burning questions from emails at Adam and get his unprepaired married mans opinion. It didn't do much to help answer the questions however it gave everyone insite into Adam's repressive married life.

Brian's Emotionless Movie Review

Brian gives dubious movie reviews and does so without emotion.

Chewy Reviews TV

In this segment, Patrick would play the introductory theme song of a popular television program to his dog, Chewy. The dog audibly reacts to the theme music, and his response is played back on the show. Out of several different TV shows, Chewy has seemingly hated each and every one with a fiery rage.

Shit You Didn't Know

On occasion, Patrick felt like he should inform Adam and the listeners of random facts not regularly known. Introduced by a snazzy/intense sound clip, Patrick would proceed to inform everyone of this little known fact, and close with the same sound clip. Sometimes discussion follow, or Adam will try to ignore it and move on. For you newer listeners out there, that's some shit you didn't know.

Nick's Zero Impact Tech Segment

This segment was intended to bring the world up to date with the very latest innovations in technology. Great in principle however, in practice it was awful. This was entirely due to Nick having absouletly no idea about tech. For these segments Nick would just cut and paste other peoples work or try to pass off 6 month old storys as the newest thing in tech. Notable example of this was the Google pack which had been installed on half the planets pc's before it came to Nicks attention. Google Pack

The Wrath of Gaud

Essentially Tony ranting on a specific topic, this segment occurred sporadically throughout the show's history. The segment was never intended to be overtly comedic (i.e. it had no punchlines), though it usually inspired some entertaining discussions on the program. Victims of Tony's Wrath include his shitty comics, the economy, and his uvula.

Five Reasons Your Country Sucks

With two appearances, this was one of the shortest running segments in the show's history. The segment consists of Patrick outlining the top 5 reasons a particular country sucks.

Adam Eat This

This segment is pretty straight forward, as it is a segment where Patrick tells Adam to eat something. What Patrick does is give Adam an option between two mystery items, Adam picks one, and eats it. As this segment developed, it became that Patrick would eat what ever it was Adam had chosen not to eat. The items are generally something that doesn't taste good, or what should be eaten in large quantities. Some times the food is tame, like stale crutons, and sometimes it is bad, like pure cinnamon.

This was originally included as part of the 'Secret Segment', but due to it's popularity became a full segment on its own.

Adam's ____ Of the Week

In this segment, the premise was that Hollywood Adam would select a word or phrase that was relatively unknown amongst the general public, and gave it out on the show, as well as a description of it and a short example

Originally the segment was entitled "Adam's word of the week", however it was soon changed to "Adam's racial slur of the week", and finally remained at "Adam's ____ of the week" (where the "____" is substituted for a description of whatever is being described each week).

This was the only segment fully produced by Adam at the time (and most likely still is the only segment Adam has created totally on his own).

Ask a Mexican

This segment was introduced in order to utilize Tony Gaud's ability to speak for the entire Mexican race, despite his furious claims that he is actually Puerto Rican, rather than Mexican, which were just delusions and were ignored.

Tony answers email questions on all matters south of the border. His unique insight into the mind of the Mexican means he can answer varied questions such as, where is the biggest hole in the fence, where is the best place to hide on a truck and how much should I sell my sister for?